We became a family at 10:58 on a Thursday morning. That’s when, in my 40’s and with my wife beside me, I gave birth to our beautiful double donor conceived baby boy. So began our biggest and best adventure.
But getting there was an adventure in itself. For me, the journey included divorce, sifting through a mind boggling array of ways to make a baby, disappointing fertility tests, a holiday in Spain, and an online dating app. My wife’s journey included meticulous financial planning, an MBA, moving halfway around the globe, and (as you might have guessed) the same app. We also shared the rollercoaster ride that is fertility treatment. Oh, and a shotgun wedding in the middle of a pandemic.
Our family is as much a miracle of science as it is the result of hope, courage, effort and opportunity. If we made it, so can you.
I’m writing Make a Family because I want you to find your way to the start of your biggest and best adventure too.
What can I offer?
I can offer you what I’ve learned over the years helping LGBTQ people make their families through one-to-one specialist fertility acupuncture, and health and life coaching.
Being the nerd I am, I started with a First Class BSc (hons) degree in Chinese medicine and acupuncture, continued onto specialist fertility CPD, and then added life and health coaching when I realised people need more than medical help to make their families happen.
But credit goes to the LGBTQ folk in my consulting room for the most valuable lessons - the ones their fabulously varied stories taught me. As LGBTQ people, our journeys to parenthood are as diverse as our community. There is no conventional route and we each chart a unique course - so it seems bonkers that online resources to help us, specifically, are so very scarce. I hope this newsletter goes some way to filling that gap so that your experience becomes more empowering than overwhelming.
Is this newsletter for you?
If you are LGBT or Q and want to make or grow a family, this newsletter is for you.
It will feature stories from LGBTQ people who have made their families in all sorts of ways, along with a helpful “what I wish I knew before” section. Along the way, I may also share a little about my own fertility challenges and personal experience navigating the practical, legal and social implications of becoming a parent as a gay woman.
At the end of each story, I’ll include links to useful resources that I hope will help you chart your course to the family you want. There will also be posts that feature specialist advice, information and tools. The latter will be available on the paid subscription option, and I hope you’ll subscribe and support the creation of this resource. But, the stories shared will always be free.
I hope to cover the greater part of the myriad ways there are that we can make families - so there will be something in here that resonates with your situation. What you won’t find in this newsletter is anything about making a family as a heterosexual cis gendered man or woman. This is a space where LGBTQ family making is the norm. How refreshing!
Your story
If you’re LGBT or Q and have made your family, your story could really help someone. Imagine going back to the you when your journey started and telling yourself what you needed to hear back then. Here’s your opportunity to do just that for someone else. Send an email to sarah@makeafamily.co.uk to tell your story.